24 Frames

You thought God was an architect, now you know

He’s something like a pipe bomb ready to blow

And everything you built that’s all for show goes up in flames

In 24 frames

Jason Isbell’s cynical, modern interpretation of the adage “we plan, God laughs” sums up the past year of my life.

What does the overachiever do when there’s nothing left to achieve?

When you’ve reached the pinnacle of your running career and lose your joy for the sport?

When you’ve always wanted a family and find yourself at 40 surrounded by children, but none of your own?

When you lose your first love?

When a family crisis lands you two new roommates, but reminds you of what’s really important?

When the things you’ve used to define your self-worth and identity start to lose their shine?

When the ways you’ve tried to suppress the emptiness no longer fill the void?

You shut down.

You cry.

You withdraw.

You write.

You read.

You try to find stillness.

You re-discover your family, by birth and by choice.

You cling to love and kindness and forgiveness and hope.

You find your way back to the light.

You put one foot in front of the other. 

Bird by bird.